Is Anything Real?

Here's a leadership myth

that needs to be benched immediately.

Great culture is built on inspiration and good vibes.

Now that's a beautiful poster,

but it's a terrible operating system.

And that's because good vibes don't clarify roles,

they don't create accountability,

and they don't tell you, you know,

how someone reacts under pressure.

Culture isn't the playlist that's in the lobby;

it's actually the behavior under pressure.

Welcome back to "Is Anything Real?",

the reality-first leadership show

where we test advice,

publish the receipts,

and ship what actually works under pressure.

I'm Adam W. Barney,

transition leadership coach,

author of Make Your Own Glass Half Full,

and builder of Energy OS,

where I help leaders rebuild their operating system

when the tools that got them here stopped working.

Today's guest is Dr. Al Philip-Neri,

founder of Cohesion HQ

and author of,

and he's happy to hold this up, I think,

The Execution Advantage.

Al's work sits at the intersection of team performance,

behavioral analytics, execution,

accountability, trust,

and what he calls the science of team excellence.

And this episode has been a long time coming

because we intentionally held the conversation.

until the book was ready,

and the book is out now,

so now we get to go.

And what I appreciate about Al especially

is that he's not selling leadership as

vibes, charisma,

or another inspirational speech

that evaporates by launch.

His work asks,

How are people actually wired?

What role are they being asked to play?

What behavior needs to align?

And how do we apply pressure in a way

that creates resilience instead of resentment?

Al, welcome to the show.

What's up, buddy?

What's up?

How we doing?

All right, let's start here.

You know, Al, what what do leaders get wrong when they think

culture is built on inspiration and good vibes alone?

They're wrong.

That's what they get wrong.

So the problem is it doesn't hold up, right?

So, you know, the kumbaya could

hold up for a day or something like that,

but the problem is when the rubber meets the road.

When things get intense,

when deadlines hit,

when money's a problem,

lose a big client,

situation is intense,

that stuff doesn't stand up.

It just doesn't stand up, right?

The rah-rah motivational, we can do this,

just does not stand up against the test of time, period.

Not saying there's anything wrong with that,

but it doesn't stand up against the test of time

when it really really matters.

The stakes are of higher yield

for whatever environment you're in.

Well, and that's the part that cuts through, right?

You know,

but also culture isn't what people say

when things are calm.

It's what happens to the team when plans change.

Clients get loud, deadlines move,

and everybody's nervous system

starts looking for the emergency exit row, right?

And I think what you're saying here is that

a lot of leaders say they want accountability,

but they haven't defined the behavior.

They've defined standards but haven't clarified roles,

or they just want execution,

but they're relying on motivation.

You know, what's the difference between a team that feels aligned

and a team that's actually behaviorally aligned?

So the biggest thing with alignment is

disagreement is part of alignment, right?

So a lot of leaders think that alignment is agreement.

But alignment is not agreement.

Alignment is moving towards the collective, right?

And with that comes disagreement.

Challenge the status quo.

What's best practice?

But at the end of the day, if people don't have clarity,

and that's clarity in communication,

clarity in role,

clarity in expectations,

clarity in performance,

clarity in performance metrics,

if they just don't have clarity,

and the tools that they need

and they can't trust one another,

you'll never end up having execution

at a level that's satisfactory or scalable.

Along that journey, as pressure hits it,

yeah, those gaps will get just bigger and bigger and bigger.

So people think growth is the issue.

Well, growth isn't really the issue.

If you don't have a tight enough shift

to handle the growth, that can handle the complexity,

that can handle the pressure,

that can lead to, you know, one, two, three.

So, and it's complicated.

It's complex.

It seems simple.

Sounds simple.

You read a book, you're like, oh, that's easy.

But until you go to implement it and manage it

and you're like, oh my, look, this is nuts.

Correct.

Yeah, because you're dealing with

the most complex creature in the world:

a human being.

Al, you also made a point on our first call

that I really loved.

You know, if leaders don't understand someone's natural wiring,

they actually might accidentally ask that person

to operate with their non-dominant hand all day.

And me being a lefty, I can imagine

if you push me to do things with my right hand most of the time,

it's such a clean image and, you know,

people can stretch,

they can adapt,

but behavior modification

that fights someone's wiring all day

usually doesn't last,

and it definitely,

definitely isn't something that lasts when pressure hits.

How do behavioral analytics

change the way leaders set expectations?

And basically, you keep people in their dominant hand.

So that's funny because I'm left-handed also.

I don't think I knew you were left-handed.

So basically, it's just understanding

where do they lay in their strengths,

and does the position requirements

allow them to take their natural strengths,

their natural wiring,

and operate in that capacity all the way along.

You've got a better success

of an individual who's happy at their job,

thriving at their job,

fulfilling the expectation of the role,

if they're on the right bus and the right seat.

To your point, anytime that gets derailed,

and now we go to behavior modification,

behavior modification only lasts so long,

and will definitely grumble under pressure.

Now that doesn't mean that somebody can't work a whole career

for 30 years in a behavior modification mode.

Then you'll hear things like,

"Yeah, I lost myself.

I forgot what it felt like to be happy at work."

"When I first started, I used to really enjoy myself.

Now I can't."

"I've got a year and a half left for retirement

and I can't wait till that date comes."

It's just drudgery.

That's all it is: drudgery, right?

Ironically, I just know somebody got laid off

and got a year and a half until retirement

and I said, what would make you happy

like to do in your last year and a half gainful employment, right?

Like how about you answer that question, right?

And try to fix something.

So, you know,

the alignment of people

into the role is really, really critical.

I would even say, like,

depending on your environment,

depending on your industry,

depending on the flexibility,

and I know leaders you're probably gonna dislike,

what I gotta tell you,

but people have certain peak hours.

Would if your environment allowed for it,

because some environments don't allow for it,

but if your environment would allow

for people to work in their peak hours,

which for some people might be at midnight.

And it's not, AKA, their role is not customer-facing

where it needs to be during normal business hours

or something like that.

It's seriously, if your business could allow for that,

and that doesn't skirt them

from being able to attend team meetings,

or, you know, whatever the case may is.

But if that's just where they're peak

and they operate the best.

And in that role, like three, four hours of that work

is equivalent to eight hours of them working a normal schedule.

Like seriously, like,

if your business allows

for that kind of flexibility,

figure out how to let that person do that.

You pay them for eight, or you pay them for salary,

whatever the case maybe is,

but you are just getting

an optimal human being

performing at their best

during their peak hours.

And nobody really talks about that.

Right, there's no books about that.

Maybe I should write one, right?

But nobody really talks about that.

And again, this is, you know,

in the world of hybrid,

the world of, you know, a lot of countries,

you know, people are, you know, like US-based

and working with, you know, companies

in different countries, different time zones.

You know, and some people

they just get up at 3 in the morning for a Zoom call.

Yeah, really.

Yeah, yeah.

Those are the same kind of people

who are jumping in the cold pool at 4 a.m. but, you know,

the part of it here, you know,

role fit isn't softness,

and I think that's something that

probably over the last 100 years

has been the case.

Role fit is actually execution intelligence

for the way a business can succeed.

But I also want to bring in the emotional reset piece.

You kind of mentioned this.

You know, you were clear that

The 555 isn't originally your idea,

and the timing is less important than the principle, right?

You know, in tennis, you get a pause

in the SWAT team, you know,

you get milliseconds

or a fast-moving business moment in corporate,

maybe it's 5 minutes, 15 minutes, an hour,

but the bigger idea is emotion is normal

and the differentiator that I talk a lot about is

what happens when the emotions hit.

How should leaders think about emotion under pressure?

Because that's what matters here.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

So to give that context, I mean,

that came from Federer, right?

On how he resets between, you know,

a play where he messed up

the 5-5-5,

he gives you 5 seconds,

5, 5, 5 seconds.

So, just to give the audience context

5 seconds is have that emotional reaction, right?

Cuss out the world silently.

Do what do whatever it is you need to do.

And then the next 5 is.

Okay, I need to regroup.

What's in my tool belt?

I need to refocus.

And the last five is,

I'm going to deploy this technique, right?

If we went in that kind of a framework,

and again, depending on the environment,

like you said, sometimes it's milliseconds.

It could be five hours between each one,

whatever the case is.

And so the question is, you know,

human emotion is real.

And people are not robots.

So, allowing people a vehicle or a way

to process emotion quickly.

You can't sit on it.

And I think that's the skill set

you've got to potentially coach and teach

is figuring out how people process.

I mean, you know, the analytics tool I use

actually shows us how people process.

The minute something hits them,

well, if you know how someone processes,

you now can come up with a tangible solution.

How to give them a coping mechanism

to quickly deal with that,

so you can move on to the next step.

But if you don't even understand how someone processes,

if somebody doesn't even understand themselves,

how they process,

well, well, now you're just like,

wow, let's just throw things on the wall

and see what fits.

And that doesn't work.

So, you know, the emotional IQ of somebody.

Emotional intelligence.

The self-awareness

that comes with controlling one's emotions

is absolutely critical in decision-making.

And what you'll see inherently is

usually the strongest leaders

are able to process fairly quickly.

Doesn't matter if it's logical or emotional.

Reset the button really quickly.

Figure out what's in their tool belt

and to deploy something

while remaining calm,

while displaying everything.

Right?

You don't see this frantic basket case.

Because that's not what people thrive to in chaos, right?

They want the lighthouse.

People want the lighthouse in chaos.

Right?

The lighthouse is there.

It's sturdy, pitch-black, nasty environment.

Light shines.

It's there.

It's not going anywhere.

That's what people want in the metering

in crisis and high pressure.

Yeah, well, and I think that really matters, you know,

where we are today, because

I think historically leaders

have been trained to think emotion

is actually the energy.

So they either

suppress it in themselves and their teams,

or they become robots in quarters zips,

or they spill it everywhere and call it authenticity.

But you know, neither is actually leadership, right?

What does a healthy reset actually look like

after some thing creates an emotional reaction.

Just so you can stay on track, right?

And they haven't taken down the troops with you,

with your chaos, right?

Man, it's it's your reaction.

Doesn't need to be the world's reaction, right?

So that you have the ability to process it,

deal with it,

cope with it,

and come up with what the next step is

quickly, efficiently,

based on your environment.

And understanding that emotion is real,

but it's what you do with it, right?

Like anything else, it's what you do with it.

So, I think what happens is is that in a world

you're kind of taught not to feel.

Right?

Like, oh, it's just business.

What does that mean?

Right?

Like, if it's a company, you're feeling it, right?

Right.

If you get fired, you're feeling it.

So, it's not just business, right?

This is about me, my livelihood, my kids, my family.

So I think the trick is

is just understanding that they're real

and just being able to reel people in

that can tend to want to be, you know,

aka, drama queens, right?

And just spread it.

And then there are people on the flip side,

that, you know, like myself,

I'm a very logical problem solver

that moves at a pace of speed, like of light, of urgency.

So also understanding why I can solve the problem in my head.

As the leader, that's not always great either.

Like in high stakes, yes, they want the problem solved.

But also,

if you're trying to grow and develop your team,

you have to allow for

people who process emotionally,

or can we talk through this,

or can, right?

Again, depending on the situation.

The situation doesn't always dictate that, right?

But just understanding you

and how do you get to the next positive step,

which is coming up

with what I'm going to do

and then how am I going to do it?

I mean, that also gets into this idea,

you know, Al, that that positive pressure is not toxic pressure.

I think that might be the heart of the book actually, right?

Yeah.

You know, pressure can be toxic, absolutely.

I've seen that in my career and even in my business,

but pressure can also be training.

It can be preparation.

It could be the fourth quarter.

It could be overtime.

You know, it could be

adding in plan A, B, and C,

and then everything goes sideways.

But you know, how do you define positive pressure?

And I think it gets back into analogy,

an analogy you used earlier in our conversation

about a child learning to walk, right?

Yeah.

The one I use is: yeah, walk, ride a bike, drive a car, all the same.

Right, those are exciting,

high-pressure environments, right,

for the for the child and for the parents,

so I like to use the analogy of a bike because

it's got different stages, so you know,

think about taking a child

and putting them on a bike?

Right? You got to sit them on the bike,

you got to training wheels,

you got evolution,

take the training wheels off, right?

And I tell people all the time,

what is your expectation as a parent

when you're training your child how to ride a bike?

It's that they'll probably fall,

they'll be afraid,

they'll be excited,

there'll be days they want to do it,

there'll be days they don't want to do it, right?

There'll be days they want to quit,

but your attitude to a parent is

you just want them to move the needle forward

every time they go out,get

a little bit more of a boost in confidence,

get a little bit more of a boost of independence.

Get a little bit more,

right?

Every time they go out, it's a little bit more,

and you don't put some crazy, unrealistic deadline on them, right?

That if they don't ride a bike in three days,

like they're the world's worst kid.

Like you don't do things like that.

Well, you shouldn't, if you do, yeah,

you probably need a different kind of psychologist.

But the reality is, is it's your attitude as a leader towards them.

You're allowing them to grow.

You're allowing them in a controlled environment

to make small mistakes

so that you can overcome the hurdle.

So what if you ran your company like that?

Just what if you ran your company like that?

So the problem with why pressure feels toxic and overwhelming

is because people aren't prepared to handle the pressure,

and so then it becomes very reactive.

Reactive measures tend to create a lot of stress.

A lot of stress creates all the other stuff that's going on,

and the last thing you're developing is trust,

because the most important thing

with your child on that bike

is you're creating trust.

That your child knows you're not going to let them crash.

So, for example, you would not put them going downhill

if they've never been on a bike, right?

And they have no idea that they got

to hit the pedal backwards to brake, right?

Like, I mean, you just wouldn't do that,

or intentionally you wouldn't do that, right?

And so when you start thinking like that, and you say,

"Okay, how do I get my team to grow?

How do I get my company to grow?

How do I get them to feel safe?

To be able to grow,

go back and teach a kid how to ride a bike,

and take the same skill sets

that you used to teach your child how to ride a bike,

the same attitude,

and then implement that in your team and your company.

And I promise you, if you give it enough time,

just like teaching a kid how to ride a bike,

they'll ride the bike,

your team will grow, your company will excel,

which now means they'll create trust,

that bond gets stronger,

now you can execute at the level you need.

And that's exactly this idea, you know, I think

pressure becomes toxic when leaders use it

to discharge frustration.

I think our listeners could easily see

how that relates back to that analogy there.

And it actually becomes developmental

when leaders use it to build that capacity

and that modeling is really important there, as well.

And also, it gets into this idea

that execution isn't just individual performance.

Throughout our conversation today,

execution is that collective trust

with behaviors understood and attached, right?

Absolutely.

You will not get your team,

or your company,

or your family

to execute at a higher level unless there's trust.

Yeah, period.

Like, period.

You will not.

And if you think you can do it without trust,

it's not long-lasting.

Yeah.

Well, I want to talk about the book

and one question here too quickly, Al, also,

but, you know, of course, again,

The Execution Advantage is out now.

What do you hope a leader does differently after reading it?

Apply it.

Like, you know, I've given you, you know,

I don't know if it's to be funny, right?

I've given them the framework.

Yeah, and I break down each pillar

in pretty, pretty, pretty broad detail.

I give a lot of lived experience examples in there

so that what I hope to do is jog,

you know, just jolt your memory.

Think.

So, I'm also, I don't want you to think like

oh, I'm Dr. Al, this PhD guy, this theory.

No, no, no, man, I'm a lived-experience PhD.

And so I put a lot of that in the book,

and you easily,

well I shouldn't say you easily,

you'll have the framework.

I'll give you, there's plenty of golden nuggets in there

for you to take the time to say,

okay, how do we do the what he's talking about,

how do we do,

where are our holes,

things of that nature.

And obviously, you know, I'm here.

I'm available.

I'm for sale, right?

So if you need help, I'm here.

Let's have a conversation.

Let's figure out where you're at,

where you're trying to go.

Let's figure out where your bottlenecks are,

and then let's create what needs to happen.

The biggest thing, though, I will tell,

and I didn't really talk about this in the book,

is there is no timeline.

Because that's independent to what we're trying to do,

and you know, for very high-functioning teams,

I mean we're talking the elite of the elite of the elite,

moving the needle forward by one millimeter

is success of their growth,

and I mean because they're so high functioning,

and you can get them to that millimeter fairly quickly

because of the foundation.

Right?

Of how everybody operates.

But for others, this is a marathon, right?

This might be the next 2 to 3 to 4 to 5 years

depending on how current circumstances sit

or how one individual sits.

Because I have dealt with leadership teams

where there's a vision,

and then there's another person

who's not on board with the vision

and will constantly get in the way of that growth.

Well, we got to deal with that first

before we ever move a group

or a collective forward, right?

The front runners have to be

on the same page

and in 100% agreement.

So the book will give them, you know,

plenty of guidance,

plenty of examples,

and it gives you an opportunity, you know,

for people to schedule a call

and it's complimentary,

and, you know,

if they haven't figured out my personality,

let's just jump on a Zoom and talk, man.

Let's just talk a little bit,

like, let's just talk.

And if I'm the guy to help you, great.

And if I'm not the guy to help you,

I know a lot of other people.

Not necessarily use my framework,

but they're good at what they do.

I am more than happy

to refer individuals to

if I'm not the right fit.

Right.

So.

Right.

That's great.

Well, you know, I want to move this out.

II know of course, you know,

everything with the book

and with your work

is not based on theory.

It's about, you know,

more predictable ways to help teams perform

when when life and work gets real.

But I I want to I want to move this

into a move that our listeners can run this week.

And I actually want to call it

The Positive Pressure Audit.

And it's four simple questions.

You know, the first being,

where am I applying pressure without clarity?

The second being,

where am I asking someone

to operate against their natural wiring all day?

The third is

where am I reacting emotionally

instead of resetting intentionally.

And the fourth last one being,

what's one rep I can design this week

to build capacity before the real pressure hits?

And I think those are pretty straightforward,

but, Al, what would what would you add

from that list from the book

or just your broader Cohesion HQ work?

Those are good questions Adam.

You know, the thing I would add is

if you're the leader,

it starts with you.

And one of the things I talk about in the book,

because it's part of the way you create cohesion,

you create alignment, is do you?

The question, if I put it in Adam's format,

ask yourself honestly,

do you show up every day and act like a role model

and be a role model in your company every single day?

Just ask that simple question.

The answer to that question is,

you gotta think about it,

or no, I don't.

Well, we gotta start there.

It's your company.

Be the role model

If you can embrace that attitude,

can implement everything else

based on just that attitude changing

that you're going to be the role model.

You're going to be the poster child.

That's fantastic.

Yeah.

Well, and that all gets into the fact that

you know, again,

execution gets real

when pressure becomes practice instead of panic.

And I think that's what we're trying to influence here.

But you know, Al, you know how we end.

After all of this, and the myth

that culture is built on just good vibes,

is anything real?

Is anything real?

I mean, I tell people,

look, culture is a feeling,

cohesion is a system.

Behavior drives execution,

execution drives outcome.

So, if those were the two sentences

you had to remember from this podcast,

just remember those.

Culture is a feeling,

cohesion is a system.

Behavior drives execution,

execution drives outcome.

Beautiful.

Yeah, and I think what feels real to me today

is behavior under pressure again.

It's not the value statement.

It's not the offsite exercise.

It's not the all-hands quote.

It's again, that moment when the pressure hitsand

the team still has enough

trust, clarity, and reps to execute.

And that's what's real.

But Al, where can folks find you,

order The Execution Advantage,

and hit you up for Cohesion HQ?

Yep.

You can find me on LinkedIn very, very easily.

Just put in Dr. Al Philip-Neri.

I'll pop right up and connect with me

and then we'll go from there.

To buy the book, a couple ways:

you can go to

theexecutionadvantage.com

and then it'll click you through to Amazon,

or you could go directly to Amazon,

but if you want to make sure you know it's legit,

just go through

theexecutionadvantage.com

and it'll take you straight to the Amazon checkout link.

And you know, as far as, you know,

if you'd like to just connect on a Zoom,

chit-chat for 45 minutes,

something like that,

yeah, just connect with me on LinkedIn.

That's the best way,

send me, you know, a connection request,

send me a message on LinkedIn,

and then we'll figure out a time,

approach for both of us,

and we'll just get to know each other

and figure out what's going on.

Perfect,

and we'll of course link to that in the show notes below,

but I would say for our listeners today,

stop trying to inspire your way

out of execution problems.

You know, understand your people,

clarify roles, align behaviors,

build trust through those repeated training exercises,

apply pressure tactically, not frantically.

And I think Al and I would challenge you

to send it to a leader

who thinks culture is a vibe.

You know, we care for them, we love them,

but we also need them to define the behavior.

And if you're navigating a leadership transition,

there's also a 20-minute foundational call with me

linked in the show notes below.

But Al, thank you for the partnership,

the pressure reframe,

and those execution receipts.

I'm so excited that we waited for the book here.

Yeah, yeah.

Thanks for having me.

Yeah.

Awesome.

And until next time,

stay grounded,

stay human,

and keep questioning the noise.